Standing in heaven wasn’t so fun after all.

Ever felt the thrill of having to look at something you like but not have the money to buy it? sucks doesnt it? Stand in Heaven is a blog that pretty much does the opposite… No I’m not trying to boast or something. I’m just saying that it’s not all that fun when things can just pop out of nowhere. Stand in Heaven was created to cater my splurging spree.To be honest, I kinda dont remember the feeling of dying over jealousy. Stand in heaven is a curse, a trinket that makes me feel too powerful for my own good.  Reviewing wasnt really the purpose of this blog. For me, it was more like a weapon of vengeance against my professional familymade self. It was a logbook of how I made my way to achieving my goals. When I was a kid, I wanted a job that deals with gaming (then again, who didnt?). I wanted the newest console and games that would flood my room like hell, kinda like Mr. Scrooge McDuck’s money pool (only with games).

I managed to reach my goal apparently, which wasn’t really a good thing since I’m too young to be contented…I kinda feel like I’m feeling something that’s supposed to be felt 3 seconds before dying on my death bed… withered and old. I managed to get a writing job for an international gaming company where  harnessed my writing skills as well as my gaming prowess. Kings can sit down in their thrones for all I care… Benchmarks aren’t really dead ends… but what now? Again, I’m not trying to be boastful. Stand in heaven’s original theme was “How to Comprehend”… so please try to.

It’s time to end this charade and focus on other things I suppose…

K reviews: WET

Game name: WET
Platform: PS3, Xbox360
Released: Sept 2009

WET is a Kill Bill-themed video game that shares the same mechanics as Max Payne and Dead to Rights. Players will play the role of Rubi, a hot chick with an attitude who does the dirty work for people for a money (LOL). You’ll be jumping through countless obstacles while shooting enemies in the game. The whole concept is no longer considered new in our gaming meta but the game does have its perks despite its lack of originality. The game is literally Kill Bill revamped into a video game. You’ll be traveling the world in search of the guy who wants you dead while facing a nice set of unique and creepy characters. 

You’ll start with a sword and dualwield pistols but will gain access to more firepower once you progress through the game. Upgrades like “increase weapon damage” can also be acquired through the item shop, allowing you to gain the upper advantage while at the same time increasing Rubi’s fighting style. 

Cut to the chase:

Aside from the horrendous graphics, WET’s controls are pretty stiff. Combined with the unforgiving level design, the crappy stiff controls make this game pretty hard. If you dont remember what it was like to make that long jump from the ledge in Super Mario Bros, this game is sure to refresh your memory. Just saying, it’s not the levels that make this game hard, but the sucky controls. While the game is supposed to be fast paced, you’re bound to take your time in order to not fall regularly. The camera angles are awkward as hell. You’ll find ruby blocking your view on certain occasions, making the jump a bit harder than hell. 

The game suffers from a lot of graphical glitches, with elements passing through objects and things vanishing into god knows where. If you think that’s all, WET also has a lot of bugs that’s sure to ruin the experience. There are times when doors refuse to open regardless of how fast you push the square button when doing so. The only remedy would be to exit the door opening mini game and try again. 

WTFH

The enjoyability factor diminishes itself after 30 mins of gameplay. The game features a lot of acrobatics but the controls are too fucked up to keep up. The profanity level is also awesome, as you’ll be seeing this hot chick saying FUCK FUCK all the way till the end of the game.  The game also features a nice set of timed button inputs during cinematics or even ingame, making the game a bit immersive regardless of its cons. 

Verdict? Dont buy it…

Stickei!!!

Hmm… referring to my previous post, I’m sorry to say that I have lost to the power of splurging temptation. I’ve been having a lot of problems with my shit stick lately, making this new purchase more or less feasible when it comes to fighting game goodness. Out of respect, I would like to post a pic of Shitstick to celebrate the life (and death) of one of the most crappiest sticks in the world.“REST IN PEACE SHITSTICK”

 

Anyway.. here goes! TADA!

 

HRAP3 Tekken 6 stickies! The packaging is quite nice but a bit hollow at some point. I mean the Blazblue stick gave us posters and stickers to go with the 5k stick, although I doubt I’d want to have a Kazuya or Jin sticker anytime soon. 

First of all, the stick does look nice. Clagged in black, the layout, one look and you’d know this piece of shit isn’t your average shitstick. The stick is Sanwa while the buttons are your average Hori ones making it quite similar to the Blazblue stick (really comfy to use). Technically the only difference between the two is that the Blazblue stick comes with stickers and posters while the Tekken stick’s stick is an inch farther than the buttons.

Useless feature: Both Horis seem to have this really stupid feature of letting the players program the stick to the controller’s left or right analog stick. Now who the fuck cares about that feature? it’s not like people can perform Hadoukens better with the right stick right? I’m not sure what forced Hori to do this but I guess they just have to add enough stuff to make this look more……. expensive?

There’s also a turbo option which is ideal for playing bullethell shooters like Ikaruga etc but its not like we have a lot of those games comin to our nextgen consoles right (maybe for the Wii)?

All in all, it was a great deal. The stick did function 150% better than the late Shitstick so I guess that’s that. 

You have received shitskis.

Hmm… Facebook is good and all, but the continuous game invite spamming is really annoying. Being obsessive compulsive has its perks as it allows me to actually finish things on time, regardless of how hard the task may be. Such a gift however can also be considered as a monstrous curse when facing the ranks of Facebook spamming. Since one is entitled to clean his/her inbox, I would like to say “FUCK! DONT WASTE YOUR TIME!”. Mr. Happy Pants has invited you to join Mafia wars! See how Ms. Purplehair  sees you! WATCH OUT for the which fanboy FAG character are you quiz!!! hmm…

Well, I’m officially a bum for November. I’m actually kinda happy I did this. Gives me more time to recuperate. I suppose Lance was right: I do need a vacation. I’m going to head over to Greenhills to sell more stuff… hopefully I can head back home without spending the money attained from the trade. Hmm…

Welcome back K!

Wow! apparently I missed writing stuff here. Yeah, a lot has happened since my last post. Just don’t know if I’ll be able to muster enough brain juice to jot them down. First of all, I realized that having all 3 nextgen consoles isn’t that much of a good thing after all. The room has changed a lot since my last post not to mention the length of my hair LOL. The room’s a bit spacious, possibly enough to accommodate 2 people ^__^. I would most probably be needing a new bed though, since the bed isn’t even enough to keep me from falling off when I sleep. 

Wonderful: Kei’s finally using cig-filters! amazing… 

Alright… on to our current events…

I sold my 360 O_o. It may very well be one of my biggest mistakes ever but the main thought of you having the same console as your brother running over 1 stupid router aint all that’s cracked up to be. Technically, the NAT problem was more persistent that ever… and I guess my brother needs the NAT more than I do. WoW has pretty much taken all my spare time, constantly dragging me around raids and other unearthly duties. I guess it wouldnt hurt to cancel my subscription for the month of November as I’d probably be busy resting my ass off, especially since I’ve been working like hell for the past few months. 

yeah, it’s pretty much console time… and since I’m left with nothing more than a Ps3 and a pseudo-nextgen Gamecube revamp, I guess I can just sit down and enjoy my first hard-earned console. Anyway, I managed to get my claws on a few games to end my November splurging-spree

Let’s see, there’s: 

1)Demon Souls
2)WET
3)Tekken6
4)Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2
5)Uncharted 2
6)Uncharted 1 – just in case
7)Borderlands
8)Katamari Forever – cause I like it… 
9)Brutal Legend 

Hmm… not a bad list really. I was itching to buy another hori earlier, preferably the Tekken 6 one but I suppose the BB stick is still serving me well. Kei’s finally a bum again, at least for this month then it’s back to reality. 

 

Hmm… birthday… *faints*

Dirty white keyboard

Ever had those days when nothing just seems to work? No, I’m not talking about the appliances genius, but rather how everything seems to react when you do something. Yeah, it’s just probably one of those days when you just want to sleep and see the sun rise the following day. The fucking humid air is annoying… pretty much telling me how crappy this country is… fucking high electric bills for a country that practically needs electricity like hell… 

Hmm… wonder what I should do now… I’m dead bored, the games are friggin lame, and i get this stupid feeling in my throat. Ever realize how annoying the electric fan sounds? BRRR bRRRR bRRRRBRBRBRBRbRBRN! God fucking shit… i kicked its crap back to hell. I tried writing but I can’t seem to match words lately, its like I’m turning into a fucking primitive dumbfuck… 

I’m losing cigarettes and I know it wont last for the night… FUCK this shit… and what’s worst that being out of cigs on a boring day?! THE INTERCOM! YES! The motherfucking intercom keeps ringing all day! not my friggin fault granny tends to forget things 2 mins after it happens. FOr gods sake, I need a fucking break. 

Well, at least there’s pizza. yeah I’m sure beef and onions will go well with the friggin post-apocalyptic heat here. Let’s celebrate, gun the saints, and maybe spit on some indians. Hmmm, my collection looks pretty nice from here… too bad its just there. Im bored… dead bored… I need like a magical sword that magically makes people crap in their pants…that’ll be fun…

Grinding for rep and skill… WTF

Okay! What a boring day. Thing is, I havent touched a single console for days now. Being the boss is good and everything, but it sure kills faster than a bullet to the head. Im actually thinking about selling my PS3. It’s good and all, but I ran out of things to play (cept for BB). Yup, work has been so toxic that I didnt get enough time to shave. I’m not really growing a beard… well, prolly the goatee…. or maybe not. WoW is the only game I’ve played so far. I have to admit, I really missed the friggin game. Been raiding like crazy everyday. Really wish I could play Naxx tonight, but work just reeks of early birdies. 

Currently listening to X-ray Dog. Its been a while since I last had a taste of the opera. It’s probably the only thing that no one would believe. YAF ME LIKEY OPERA MUSIKU! I’m thinking about canceling my gamehopper subscription for the next couple of months. The service is ok and everything but I’m just not in the mood to grind games like before. I guess WoW will have to do for now… besides, I’m expecting a hefty credit card bill in a few days so why bother…? Gah…

Anyway, we managed to secure a spot in Christ the King for a June 2k10 wedding. Whew… and I thought we’d have to wait till next Dec 2k10. 

WIN

Drained

Good lord, I look wasted. As usual, things in the office haven’t been easy. I’ve had tons of orders flooding my mail every minute, making it hard for me to write my articles. Come to think of it, I also have to do a debut invitation since I’m getting paid for it as well. 3 Jobs… 1 Kei… sounds like a porn movie with tons of work X_X.

Subhash Canon from Oze marketing called me earlier asking for order reports and everything. I think I’m doing a good job so far (and it’s quite hard for me to admit that). This office work has worked wonders for me. 6 sticks per day? That’s crazy considering that I’m KEI (The human chimney). I sure miss playing with my consoles. I haven’t touched a single controller for a week now. WoW has been the only accessible game for me so far (since it’s on the mac). Anyway, I managed to collect the entire WoW figurine collection (cept for the murloc). I’m still waiting for series 4, wondering if I have enough space in my shelf to accommodate the entire collection. I’ll be sure to take a pic when i get my HD cam back… 

Hmmm… it’s weird that I actually miss my parents. The house has been dead silent for days now. Hope they’re having a blast in Rome. I’m not sure if I’ll enjoy hopping around Europe, but I’m glad they’re having fun. As for my sister’s debut, we’re still working on the packages. Really wish I could help but I’m currently tied up with work. 

AWESOME 

I was recently told that thirteen1 (an international gaming magazine) loved one of my latest articles and will feature it on their magazine sometime this sunday. I’m quite happy with the way things are going. It’s all steady but requires massive maintenance fees LOL. Articles, accounting, company strategies, meetings, interviews, comics… DAEM! Sometimes I wonder how I keep on finishing stuff on time. 

I guess that’s all for now… tataaaaa!!!~

Hello Snake! It’s been a while!

Well, I guess I havent jotted down anything for quite a while. Do believe me when I say that I’ve been terribly busy with work these days. Not to mention me being busy splurging. Hmmm…. updates updates updates…

Currently the acting chairman of Davenben Enterprises corp. It’s been rather educational for me since it’s quite rare for my father to make me do these things. I’ve become a staple here… that means I’ll be having two jobs to benefit from LOL. I purchased 7 WoW figurines yesterday consisting of the entire series 3 block and a few ones from series 1 and 2. You’d think I’d be satisfied by then, but no… I had to tell my secretary to get 3 more figs more me XD. I also got a macbook to aid me in my workload while my parents are enjoying themselves in London (dying from the peso conversion rate), which means I’m top dog until they arrive. Everything is going smoothly given the fact that I totally suck when it comes to numbers. It wasnt really as hard as I thought it’d be since my parents practically trained me to handle shit like this, but it wasnt that easy either. 

As for the wedding, the church had it moved to June due to their new 6 month rule thing which states that you can only get married 6 months after declaration. I guess it had something to do with the banned wedding thing (i dont know if I spelled that right). They said that they have to clarify that we are both legally single (WTF). Who knows? maybe I’m wed to someone else and I dont even know it. Good lord….

Right now I’m hell bent on finishing everything before Sept 15. Nothing special, I just want everything done so I can freely enjoy my WoW subscription before it runs out. 

I must say… everything IS going smoothly…

Rai: Alam mo bagay na line sayo? 
Kei: ano…?
Rai: MONEY! POWER!!! WOMEN!!!!!! ALL MINE!!!!!!!
Kei: Tarantado!!!!

K plays – Batman: Arkham Asylum

First of all, I’d like to say that I was truly surprised at how good this game was. After seeing Ironman, Superman, Spiderman and other Superhero based games, I was convinced that “Supers” really suck as videogames. If not a mindless beat-em-up game, most of these volumes would ponder on 2 player coop missions that would trick any kid into buying their titles.

I guess it’s about time we get a decent Super Hero game. Once again, our non-superhuman-smartass-rich-kid managed to beat his fellow heroes by becoming the first high rated nextgen comic-based game.

Batman: Arkham Asylum is a mixture of MGS stealth tactics (without the gayass crawling), GTA Freeroaming, and your average superhero beatemup game. To be honest, it does play a lot like Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune for the PS3. It has melee attackers (and a lot of em), targeting (with your not-so-lethal weapons), a nice sidescrolling view on certain parts, and of course the cheap mini games where you mash the X (PS3) and A (Xbox360) buttons in order to remove certain obstacles in the game. The game’s ratings came off as a surprise, especially due to my stereotypical outlook towards the Super hero gaming spectrum. Even if you’re not a Batman fan, the game’s definitely something for keeps.

Action WA-PACKed!

If you think that the game is just another sleathbased crawler then you’re dead wrong. The Codec is probably the only thing that Snake and Bats have in common. You’ll find yourself bashing enemies throughout the game, especially since Batman isn’t that much of a FAG to avoid combat all the time. The game uses a combo system that’s easy to get into. You basically have to press the attack button along with your desired direction key in order to keep your combo flowing. Regardless of his position, Batman will leap great distances while attacking multiple targets. You can also counter your enemies’ moves by pressing the counter key (triangle for the PS3 and Y for the xbox360) when you see your opponents give off the “I WILL ATTACK YOU” sign (or whatever you call it). The combat system is fairly easy but gets quite repetitive after some time, then again; it’s a semi beatemup game so I guess it’s normal.

Batsy against a pile of Dumbshits

Hmm… as far as the word ASYLUM is concerned, Batman’s foes are pretty stupid. Let’s say we have 2 thugs on the lookout, both facing  the same direction. If you were to knock down one of em in a stealthy manner (otherwise known as BATSECKS), the other one won’t even notice it, giving you another chance to knock him down. Great, not only are they stupid, they’re blind as well. Most of today’s nextgen games have excellent AIs, well scripted and ready to take on the player at any given time. I’m not sure if the developers did this on purpose since they ARE a pack of lunatics, but seeing Batman beat up these pathetic creatures make him more of a bully than a hero LOL.

Verdict

Hmm… well first of all, the game is PREEETY easy. I thought It’d be better to choose the hardest difficulty, so I did. To my surprise, the enemies still are still vulnerable to my BATSECKS strategy making it rather easy to finish the game. The only thing that made the game hard are the riddles. Yes, The Riddler has 240 riddles scattered around Arkham Island. I’m not sure how he did it, but it’s pretty cool. You can also collect various tapes that consist of the villains’ interviews during their stay in the Asylum, giving you a better perspective of how crazy and demented they are. The boss fights are extremely easy even in Hardmode. To be honest, most of my ingame deaths resulted from mobs and pitfalls (if you count em). The graphics are a bit crispy, with jitters emanating from the character’s bodyframe. The characters could use a bit more detail since they all look more like a bunch of prerendered models. Anyway, regardless of the game’s flaws, I still think that it deserves a high rating. Sure it was easy, but it was one hell of an experience. Look on the bright side, it doesnt give people C’s after finishing it. OH JOY.